Redrum

This morning, as I tried to get the food processor of the highest shelf of the pantry, the BLADE fell onto my foot. The thing is shaped like a propeller, and it must have been whirling around as it fell, because I got a nasty gash on my ankle and on my ring toe (the one closest to the pinky - what the fuck do you call it?).

There was blood everywhere. I wish I had pictures but when I woke up Rusty, he said the camera was out of batteries. I suspect it's because he spent all night taking longarm pics of himself in bed. Slut.

Anyway, I administered first aid and was going to rush out to buy Mederma and Cocoa Butter (I take great pride in my long, slender feet and fat-free ankles. They probably both rank among my top 20 body parts.), but then I realized that wounds, injuries, and infections are so utterly Von Tramp.

I hope to post pictures at some point, but unfortunately it's a bit late to capture the gore. Candy read my mind when she suggested re-opening the wounds, but I don't think my weakened body could handle any more blood loss.

P.S. No, I will not start wearing shoes. I'm WAY too raw for that.